Maybe it’s the Ugly American in me, but I never understood the appeal of monarchs. No offense to King Charles, but it’s 2026: Go find a form of government consistent with the times, man!
Kings and queens are medieval relics. They’re just slightly better than tossing virgins into volcanoes.
What kind of Dungeons and Dragons B.S. is this?!
Besides, it’s not like King Charles III (or, as Ilhan Omar calls him, “King Charles One hundred and eleven”) has any real power. Despite his title, he doesn’t actually rule England.
He’s a cosplay king.
Nonetheless, members of both parties went gaga over King Charles’ visit to America. He was showered with love, cheers, and standing ovations.
Even the president took note:
NOW: President Trump gets a laugh as he hosts King Charles at the White House.
“I want to congratulate Charles on having made a fantastic speech today at Congress.”
“He got the Democrats to stand, I’ve never been able to do that.” pic.twitter.com/Jr7CmmEdsi
— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 29, 2026
It must be the “majesty of royalty” that English Bob was yapping about in Unforgiven:
Of course, only one party has branded itself as the “No Kings” party. (And by the way, it’s a little weird that they pluralized kings: I guess one king is okay, but two is too many?) The White House, quite naturally, couldn’t resist tweaking the Democrats:
TWO KINGS. 👑 pic.twitter.com/iPVUxc4i4H
— The White House (@WhiteHouse) April 28, 2026
It’s unlikely that Charles’ U.S. visit will matter in November, but over the short-term, it gives Donald Trump a mini PR boost: When the King of England puckers up and kisses the president’s ring — and then the Democrats line up to kiss the king’s butt — it makes a mockery of all that “No Kings” sloganeering.
The Dems look hypocritical, foolish, and self-serving. (Yeah, I know: Second verse, same as the first.) Clearly, they’re not “No Kings” — they’re “No, Not THAT King.” Their royal bootlicking is 100% off-message — something PR pros call a “brand crime.”
The only way it could be more off-message would be if the Dems’ next “No Kings” rally were scheduled on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
A “brand crime” is any action that directly undercuts your desired image. It works like this: If you’re a glitzy, high-end restaurant and you serve your guests McDonald’s ketchup packets and paper cups, that’s a brand crime. If you’re an organization dedicated to stopping racism and [checks notes] you’re actually funding the KKK, that’s a brand crime writ large.
And if you’re a political party that hates monarchs so vehemently, you’ve been staging semi-monthly “No Kings” rallies all across America, whooping and cheering for a foreign king is a brand crime with VERY long legs. The optics are horrible.
“NO KINGS” crowd greets King Charles with a standing ovation pic.twitter.com/o1QkPGVPIk
— End Wokeness (@EndWokeness) April 28, 2026
Which takes us to law #5 of Morton Blackwell’s Laws of the Public Policy Process: Make the steal more expensive than it’s worth.
Whenever the Democrats make a mistake, it’s the GOP’s job to maximize the PR blowback. After all, unlike the Democratic Party, the mainstream media won’t carry our water. The responsibility is ours.
“In politics, nothing moves until it’s pushed.” (Blackwell Law #38.)
The MAGAverse should spin this into social media gold. From “No Kings!” to “No, Kings!” it’s perfect fodder for satire.
We should turn their “No Kings” brand into a punchline, because that’s what it deserves.
But, alas, the Republican Party isn’t immune to brand crimes either: Lord knows we make unforced errors all the time. Almost all of our wounds, it seems, are self-inflicted.
We made a pair this week, with the FCC’s review of ABC TV’s broadcast license and the indictment of ex-FBI Director James Comey. Both were PR mistakes.
Let’s begin with Kimmel: His latest scandal didn’t require FCC intervention. For PR purposes, it would’ve been smarter to let the scandal breathe — so the focus stays on what he said, not on the government’s response.
It’s the exact same mistake we made when Kimmel spread misinformation about Charlie Kirk’s death in September of 2025: If we kept the spotlight on his astonishing irresponsibility — and his appalling dishonesty — Kimmel would’ve already lost his job.
He was suspended by ABC and was on his way out.
Then FCC chairman Brendan Carr did a podcast interview with Benny Johnson:
The chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, Brendan Carr, criticized Kimmel’s remarks and threatened federal action against ABC affiliates who carried the show.
“Look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way,” he said to podcaster Benny Johnson on Wednesday. “These companies can find ways to change conduct, to take action on Kimmel or, you know, there’s going to be additional work for the FCC ahead.”
Carr’s statements gave Kimmel a PR lifeline: Suddenly, the focus switched from Kimmel’s misinformation to the role of federal agencies in censoring speech.
When Kimmel’s words are the focus, he loses. But when the FCC’s response is spotlighted, he wins.
The GOP’s most powerful PR chip was First Lady Melania Trump’s pitch-perfect denunciation of Kimmel’s cruelty. The moral outrage of a wife who nearly witnessed her husband’s murder did more to sway public opinion than anything else.
But today, the focus is off Melania Trump and on the FCC’s response — which is fantastic news for Jimmy Kimmel!
The American people don’t want late-night comics spreading misinformation or cracking “jokes” about the president’s death. But we’re also uncomfortable with federal agencies monkeying around with political speech. That’s a losing issue for the GOP.
Standing still and letting Melania’s statement breathe was the smarter PR play.
As for James Comey, indicting him for an Instagram post about seashells (“86 47”) was an awfully dumb move, too. Whereas conservatives applauded, everyone else rolled their eyes.
(NBC News got cute with its headline: Legal Experts Shellshocked Over New Comey Indictment.)
Because it’s a transparently thin indictment. So thin, in fact, veteran reporters like Catherine Herridge are incorporating its thinness into their analysis, trying to make heads or tails of it:
While the @Comey indictment is thin, it creates leverage and may be a holding charge.
Timing: Comey indictment drops as former CIA Director Brennan investigation in Florida enters final chapter.
Brennan, a driving force behind the Russia collusion narrative, recently… https://t.co/hsJfoMwrKb
— Catherine Herridge (@C__Herridge) April 28, 2026
I disagree with Herridge’s assessment. Instead of creating leverage, it’ll more likely lead to a spate of headlines about Donald Trump targeting his enemies with bogus charges — just like a “dictator” or a “king” — followed by Comey spiking the football and gloating when the charges are eventually thrown out.
Losing high-profile legal cases is horrible PR, so stop doing it!
Besides, we already know what Comey will say… because he’s already said it:
Comey literally admits that he knew the meaning of “86” when he made his instagram post. pic.twitter.com/uGFnGpoX5I
— Praying Medic (@prayingmedic) April 29, 2026
I don’t believe Comey’s story. Nor do I believe he found those shells by accident. (Especially since this wasn’t his first seashell political stunt: In 2024, he also claimed to stumble upon random seashells that said “Vote Harris.”) I think James Comey is a dirty, stinkin’, no-good liar.
But I also don’t think posting “86 47” on Instagram will result in a criminal conviction for threatening the president’s life. More likely than not, it’ll lead to Comey’s legal vindication — followed by his (triumphant) victory tour on all the top media outlets.
Republicans, I beg of you: Stop turning villains like Kimmel and Comey into victims!
With their “No Kings” hypocrisy, the Democrats are making themselves look absurd. Their brand is in free-fall.
So stand back, watch, and egg ‘em on with social media: When your enemy is making a mistake, don’t correct ‘em, don’t overreact, and don’t throw ‘em a lifeline!
And above all else, don’t commit a brand crime of your own.
Republicans aren’t the party of lawfare, censorship, political persecution, or worshipping foreign monarchs. That’s not who we are.
It’s why the American people trust us with power.
Kings, Kimmel, and Comey. Don’t rescue the last two by acting like the first one.
One Last Thing: 2026 is a critical year for America First. It began with Mayor Mamdani declaring war on “rugged individualism” and will reach a crescendo with the midterm elections. Nothing less than the fate of the America First movement teeters in the balance.
Never before have the political battle lines been so clearly defined. Win or lose, 2026 will transform our country.
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