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Tuesday’s Final Word – HotAir

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March 31, 2026
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Then you gazed up at me, and the answer was plain to see, ’cause I saw the light in your tabs …





Ed: Wait until she finds out about the gays of Tehran! Yes, I realize we did the No Kings stuff in yesterday’s Final Word, but I just couldn’t resist. But that’s not even the dumbest story of the day …

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NY Post: Former Department of Homeland Security chief Kristi Noem is “devastated” by salacious allegations her husband Bryon lives a double life where he cross-dresses and chats online with fetish models.

“Ms. Noem is devastated. The family was blindsided by this, and they ask for privacy and prayers at the time,” Noem’s representatives told The Post.

According to reporting by the Daily Mail, Bryon Noem chatted up women from the so-called “bimbofication” fetish scene, in which adult performers augment their breasts with massive amounts of saline to achieve a “Barbie doll”-like appearance.

Ed: That … is not a denial. Why in the world would Noem have taken a high-profile nat-sec position with this going on? I’d bet that Noem is less blindsided by this than the White House. Yikes.

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Ed: Those were the days, my friends, we thought they’d never end … 

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Cockburn at The Spectator: Cockburn wishes his readers, and Bryon, a Happy International Trans Day of Visibility. As governor of South Dakota, Kristi courted controversy in 2021 by vetoing a bill to ban trans women from female sports teams, after pressure from Amazon, who were looking to build a new distribution center in her state. Social conservatives accused her of being a squish; she eventually signed the bill in 2022. She also sent out a message in February 2025 regarding President Trump’s executive order “Defending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government.” Noem wrote: “DHS will fully comply with the order to end all agency programs that use taxpayer money to promote or reflect gender ideology.” 





Charity begins at home, Special Envoy!

Ed: Maybe this is a good time to choose to spend more time with your family, Special Envoy. I’d forgotten about the 2021 veto, which infuriated conservatives at the time and did come up as an issue when Trump appointed her to run DHS. 

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•67% say Iran is a leading source of instability, terrorism, and war

•68% believe the Iranian people do not support the regime

•73% support Israel over Hamas

•51% support U.S. Israel strikes on Iran, 54% say the campaign is justified  

Support for the war is heavily split politically, Republicans strongly back it, Democrats largely oppose

Ed: The Havard-Harris CAPS poll is pretty reliable and has been remarkably consistent on Middle East issues. The White House probably needs to do a better job speaking over the heads of the media on this issue, but these levels of support are strong. The survey was conducted last week, on Wednesday and Thursday. 

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CBS News: President Trump told CBS News Tuesday morning that he is not ready “quite yet” to remove U.S. assets as part of efforts to force Iran to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, despite a Truth Social post suggesting allies need to do it themselves.





In a phone call, Mr. Trump reiterated his frustration that other countries, including the U.K., had not sent military assets to join the U.S.-Israeli war against Iran. But he said he isn’t pulling American forces out of the effort yet.

“At some point I will, not quite yet. But countries have to come in and take care of it. Iran has been decimated, but they’re going to have to come in and do their own work,” Mr. Trump said.

Ed: So Trump isn’t quitting this week. He’s probably not quitting next week, either. The energy-infrastructure ultimatum expires on Monday. Trump will see it through to that point, and he likely thinks that the IRGC infighting will keep increasing as that date gets closer. The Iranians won’t usually negotiate honestly at all, and whatever they do concede will only come in the final hour before these expiration thresholds arrive. 

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He says Arab leaders now understand the threat and are ready to align.

Ed: This is why it’s important for the US to see this all the way through to the end. That alignment will not take place if the US bails out while the regime in Tehran remains a threat. 

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Yonah Jeremy Bob at the Jerusalem Post: It has become increasingly clear, as confirmed by Israeli defense sources on Monday, that the end of the Iran war depends on whether US President Donald Trump orders a ground invasion of the Straits of Hormuz and Kharg Island (or one of the two) – or decides to end the war imminently with the Islamic regime’s chokehold on global maritime trade through the Straits included in post-war talks.





What is a complete mystery is how long the war will be extended if Trump opts for a ground invasion in Iran, even a narrow, targeted one. Will it take weeks or months? No one thinks it will take less than a few weeks if it has a chance of being successful. …

Sources have indicated it is possible that the radically varying time estimates refer to different goals and come from sources with different agendas.

Ed: I suspect that we could seize Kharg Island in a matter of days, not weeks. Kharg houses fewer than 9,000 people, most of them workers in the oil export facilities on the island. The US has already conducted attacks on the military positions on Kharg, and the Iranians cannot reinforce or relieve those forces now that their navy and air force are destroyed. We took Grenada in eight days in 1983, facing off against 1300 native troops and almost 800 Cuban soldiers. Almost all of the fighting took place in the first three days, when all resistance collapsed. We didn’t conduct the kind of aerial assault that Kharg has seen and will see in the event, too. Grenada is also 133 square miles, while Kharg is less than eight square miles. 

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Ed: I’d like to see more data on this point, but YouGov isn’t exactly GOP-friendly as a pollster. Look at the big shifts among black men and women without college degrees; if that’s real, Democrats should be in complete freak-out mode. 





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WSJ: The Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush and its accompanying warships are deploying to the Middle East, joining the USS Abraham Lincoln and the USS Gerald R. Ford carrier strike groups in the region, according to U.S. officials.

The U.S. could have three aircraft carriers in the region for the foreseeable future, the officials said. The Navy declined to comment on future operations.

The Bush departed Naval Station Norfolk in Virginia on Tuesday, according to a Navy press release. It could take the carrier weeks to reach the region. The Lincoln is operating in the Arabian Sea, and the Ford is at port in Croatia for repairs, according to two of the officials.

Ed: We’re not sending another carrier task force just to leave Hormuz hanging. That will actually make FIVE carrier groups, if we count the amphibious-operations carriers USS Tripoli and Boxer, which should arrive shortly. 

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Ed: And that’s just this year!

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Nora Bussigny at the Free Press: I watched this shared hatred of the Jew bring together Islamist preachers, supporters of the Islamic Republic of Iran, feminist and LGBTQ+ militants, radical ecologists, and anti-police activists—all in the name of a fight “against Zionism, the United States, the West, and imperialism.”





Something extraordinary was happening. So, I went back in. For over a year, from January 2024 to March 2025, I participated undercover in dozens of demonstrations, discussion groups, and militant actions by anti-Israel collectives in France. I visited university campuses in my country, but also L’université Libre de Bruxelles and Columbia University in New York, to understand how legitimate empathy for Palestinian civilians is being instrumentalized by militants linked to terrorist organizations and the Islamic Republic of Iran.

What I observed is how a mutual hatred for the West, the United States, imperialism, and Israel have coalesced around a cause that has become the ultimate cause par excellence: Palestine—one for which its devout followers are prepared to do anything.

Ed: Required reading for today. I suspect that anyone attempting to replicate Bussigny’s social experiment in the US would get the same results. However, I’d also add that Palestine isn’t really the issue, but just the latest label for socialist-communist agitators. Bussigny doesn’t mention socialism or communism at all in her essay, but I’d bet it’s the real connecting thread. 

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Ed: Too soon? Hey, at least he can read the road signs and knows which side of the highway to roll his truck on … 

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