By Fran Hildebrandt, WLCJ International Vice President and Kehilah/Education Chair
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
I recently listened to the duet sung by Barbra Streisand and Hozier of the 1957 folk song, “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face,” made iconic by Roberta Flack in 1972. In December 2024, my husband, Tom, and I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. When I listen to the song it brings back memories of when we first met. We were sophomores at Michigan State. We both lived in the same dorm. We met outside the dorm grill and after talking for two hours, I gave Tom my phone number. We still laugh how he called me a few days later having forgotten my name but not my number. It did not deter him and here we are 56 years later, celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary.
What is the secret to a successful marriage or relationship? Why is it that some wither away and others seem to gain momentum as the years pass by? If you go online or do a search on the subject, you will be inundated with possible explanations. Of course, I have my own theory for why my marriage has reached the 50-year mark…
Thornton Wilder, of blessed memory, made many comments about the meaning of life, death and marriage throughout the course of his play, “Our Town.” Of marriage, he had this to say: “I didn’t marry you because you were perfect. I didn’t even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn’t a house that protected them; and it wasn’t our love that protected them—it was that promise.”
We made that promise to each other under the chuppah. As I reflect over the last 50 years, that promise grew and took on a life of its own as our life circumstances evolved. Such as finding humor in our joint replacements and life-threatening illnesses, taking care of each other’s parents and siblings, and being the best parent, we are each capable of being. We answer to Mom-Dad (said in one breath), and Bubbie and Zaydie to our children and grandchildren. We were bashert – we are a perfect match for each other (though I still allow him to think he is a work in progress. LOL). The love we share and promise we have kept has helped make us the people we are today. Who knew that the boy I met at 19 would grow into the man I am married to today? I lucked out! As you read this message, we are traipsing through Spain with our children and grandchildren, celebrating our longevity with our family. On this Shabbat, I wish you opportunities to celebrate, and joy from the promises you have made.
Shabbat shalom,
Fran Hildebrandt
WLCJ International Vice President and Kehilah/Education Chair
fhildebrandt@wlcj.org
