It stands to reason that certifiably, the most vacuous, inane, and intellectually inadequate of the vice presidents in our storied history would if given a chance, pick a complete doofus blessed with even fewer abilities, charm, and mental acuity than she herself could boast.
And so, as nature intended, it came to pass.
Tim Walz’s bizarre entrance makes perfect sense when you add “It’s Raining Men” as his walk out music.
You’re welcome. pic.twitter.com/HJMFQUU3ub
— Tim Young (@TimRunsHisMouth) August 21, 2024
As there is a God who smiles upon our sickness and sinful behavior and offers us a chance to right our course every once in a while, the two corrosively unlikeable, intellectual nullities anointed by Democrats to lead this country permanently off a cliff were vanquished by voters on November 5th, thank you, God.
Kamala Harris has disappeared into relative obscurity, popping up only occasionally to serve a word salad of indecipherable meaning to befuddled-looking, tiny audiences of LA wildfire survivors or casts of Broadway shows. And then she flits off to another millionaire’s retreat, licking her wounds or kitty cat paws and slurping the stuff that keeps her going.
Whatever it is, at least we don’t hear of her other than outside speculation, and that’s lovely.
But her campaign partner is a different story. Where Tim Walz could have slunk back to his state, kept his delightful wife company, smelling the tires burning at night, and continued to govern until they had the sense to boot him out, he’s decided he’s a ‘thang.’
That Tim Walz, in the Democratic leadership vacuum left by their campaign’s paroxysmal destruction, is honor-bound to fill that hole, crying for a hero.
He’s offering up both his masculinity and his effervescent wit.
Boy, has he stepped in it with both and I’m pretty sure Democrats want him front and center as much as they’re trying to decide who gets to tell DOCTOR Jill Biden finally and firmly, ‘No. Now go away.‘
Walz’s tête-à-tête with 2028 contender Gavin Newsom was a sight to make eyes sore. The gleaming, perfect Pepsodent grin and oleaginous coiffure of the California governor versus the rumpled, bug-eyed, dumpy-jowled intensity of the Minnesotan insisting his prowess with a wrench worried Republicans was more meme material than a study in contrasts. Newsom is too slickly manufactured to be real, Walz too much of a cartoon character, and neither has governed worth a hoot.
Tim Walz to Gavin Newsom: “Not that I spent much time on this, and it just baffled me how much time they spent trying to attack me that I wasn’t masculine enough in their vision.”
— The Post Millennial (@TPostMillennial) March 19, 2025
But Walz bumbles along as if he is hearing a higher calling. It’s possible it’s at dog whistle frequency because not another soul is hearing it.
Walz himself might be wondering if he misread the bones after his latest ‘good ol’ boy’ bubba schtick went really south fast.
If you need a little boost during the day, check out Tesla stock 📉 pic.twitter.com/KBEh6pOZLW
— Tim Walz (@Tim_Walz) March 19, 2025
Sometimes, Walz is so clever that he forgets he’s still the governor of the state when working out his comedy routine.
His own Minnesota State Board of Investment knew he was the second their governor publicly tried to tank stock that the state pension funds have a buttload of retirees’ money in.
Tim Walz: I love watching Tesla stock tank.
Minnesota State Board of Investment: We have almost half a BILLION tied up in Tesla stock. Please don’t do that. pic.twitter.com/pahdbcC8QP
— Kevin Dalton (@TheKevinDalton) March 19, 2025
Someone must have yanked his chain in private, because at his next appearance, the comedian was also doing the old soft shoe.
NEWS: Tim Walz says he was joking when he mocked Tesla’s falling stock:
“I have to be careful about being a smartass. I was making a joke. These people have no sense of humor. They are the most literal people. I said something I probably shouldn’t have about a company.” pic.twitter.com/z5bigkC97p
— Sawyer Merritt (@SawyerMerritt) March 23, 2025
…“I have to be careful about being a smartass. I was making a joke. These people have no sense of humor.”
THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR
It’s MAGA’s fault Tim Walz is a moron, see?
Flaming personal property, both vehicles and stock, will do that to you.
Tim Walz is doing great things for Democrats!
Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz quipped in a speech last week, “On the iPhone, they’ve got that little stock app. I added Tesla to it to give me a little boost during the day. Two-hundred-twenty-five and dropping!” Mr. Walz cheers the market decline of a great American company because he doesn’t like its founder, Elon Musk.
What else would Mr. Walz root for because he hates the people in charge? Does he get a spring in his step when the broader stock market tanks because he thinks it will reflect poorly on President Trump?
What was going through Mr. Walz’s mind when SpaceX, a Musk company, rescued stranded U.S. astronauts from the International Space Station? Did his loathing for Mr. Musk outweigh the human and patriotic desire to see the astronauts return safely? Given his pronouncements, Mr. Walz might have been chagrined that SpaceX, not Boeing, brought the pair home.
Does Mr. Walz need reminding that in addition to Mr. Musk, around 126,000 other people work at Tesla? The fortunes of these hardworking employees, with families to support and taxes to pay, are tied to Mr. Musk’s. In Walz world, are Tesla workers deplorables subject to insult and fiscal misfortune simply because Mr. Musk signs their paychecks?
Just teasing.
Keep talking, Tim.
Stay on the trail as long as you can.
