I’ve been dunking on Meghan Markle, American Duchess of Nothing, a lot lately, but ’tis the season. She’s the one who has been putting herself out there in the most awkward and embarrassing of ways. As a matter of fact, for my next anti-Meghan article, I’d planned to watch her new Netflix Christmas special and review it — I hear people are calling her “Salmonella Sussex” because of it — but no one told me that her moronic husband, Prince Harry, was going to make his acting debut on a nearly defunct late-night talk show, mock Donald Trump, and generally act like an idiot.
And that’s exactly what the man who had everything — and gave it up for a D-list actress who spends much of her time cosplaying her dead mother-in-law and has people announce her before she enters a room — did on Wednesday night.
Harry appeared on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, stepping out on stage while the host gave his nightly political lecture monologue, which began by mocking the Hallmark Christmas movies that are so popular these days. Colbert said they were unrealistic because they make people think they’re just going to meet a prince walking down the street. That’s when Harry popped out from behind the curtain. Get it? Har har.
“I genuinely thought this was the audition for the ‘Gingerbread Prince saves Christmas in Nebraska,'” he said, joking that he was going into acting because he knew Americans were obsessed with both Christmas movies and royalty.
Colbert responded by saying that he wouldn’t say we’re obsessed with royalty, to which Harry replied, “But I heard you elected a king.”
The audience responded by booing — whether they were booing Harry or Trump, who knows? It’s hard to guess about people who will actually sit through a live filming of something as tedious as this show.
“That’s a fair point. No, he’s got a point,” Colbert said to the audience.
Harry replied with an American Revolution one-liner: “And often making such a big deal about my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather George III.”
He then went on to explain why he’d make such a great Hallmark movie actor, naming his skills: riding a horse, flying a helicopter, and riding a horse while flying a helicopter. (Who writes this stuff? Is that supposed to be funny?)
The FBI caught the Jan 6 bomber but when you Google “bombing” every story is about Prince Harry on Colbert.
— Jimmy Failla (@jimmyfailla) December 4, 2025
Colbert responded that show business is all about who you know. “I mean, do you have a personal connection to any famous TV actresses?” he asked.
“I might know one,” Harry responded. I’d like to know who that one is because without him, no one would have a clue who Meghan Markle is right now unless she manipulated some other famous guy into marrying her.
Then he promised he would “do anything” to get his big shot, followed by rattling off a list of those things, ending with, “… I’ll settle a baseless lawsuit with the White House — all those things you people on TV do.”
Colbert replied that he didn’t do any of things, and Harry said, “Maybe that’s why you’re canceled.” Okay, that one was a little funny. You can watch it for yourself here:
Prince Harry mocks Trump during appearance on Stephen Colbert.
“I heard you elected a King.”
The Duke of Sussex also referenced Trump’s $16 million CBS lawsuit:
“I’ll settle a baseless lawsuit with The White House.”
— Oli London (@OliLondonTV) December 4, 2025
But the whole thing was just awkward — both the British and the U.S. press are mocking the heck out of him.
What makes it even tackier is that Meghan’s father, Thomas Markle, who is 81, is reportedly fighting for his life. According to her brother, Thomas Markle, Jr., he’s in an ICU at a hospital in the Philippines, where he currently resides, after having emergency surgery on Wednesday. The younger Markle says that their father will also have a second procedure to remove some blood clots.
Meghan herself posted video from Harry’s cringey Colbert skits on her Instagram page, but no thoughts and prayers for her dad. Then again, she ditched him the moment she joined the British Royal Family. And he did recently say that she doesn’t have an authentic bone in her body, so I guess there’s no way these two will make up. After all, he’s 81 and in poor health. They’re running out of time.
But by all accounts, he took great care of her as a kid, put her through college, and even helped her get into the entertainment business. Hopefully, she’s at least reaching out to him privately. Then again… that girl doesn’t do anything for anyone privately.
I’ll leave you with video of another terrible segment from Harry’s appearance on Colbert. I don’t even know what this is supposed to be.
Our Prince Harry on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert!
Tonight Harry is showing us that he not only married an actress, he too can act, and he is a good actor and comedian.
His timing is so good! And cannot stop laughing 🤣
Meghan girl, your husband is everything! pic.twitter.com/OkPyjb5kPM
— Carmella (@Sussex5525) December 4, 2025
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