Back at our church in Los Angeles, I used to hang out with some of Hollywood’s top stunt people, like Phil, who floated down across the fountain of the Bellagio into the back of a moving convertible in one of the “Hangover” movies. Or Terri, who would smash through car windows and jump jet-skis world record distances. As amazing as Phil and Terri’s stunts were, they have nothing on congressional Democrats.
In recent days, their stunt work has been sublime. They’ve made Tom Cruise’s stunts in the “Mission Impossible” movies look as tame as driving Miss Daisy.
Take Sen. Cory Booker, D-N.J., who’s become such a drama queen you’re more likely to see him on “Inside the Actors Studio” than C-SPAN. His latest stunt? Leading his Democratic colleagues in storming out of a vote over one of President Donald Trump’s judicial nominees.
The Democrats don’t like Emil Bove. Fine. I don’t like progressive judges who think they’re president, act like God, and wipe their hind parts with the Constitution. But rather than state their case, vote “no,” and take the loss like adults, Booker went all Mommy Dearest. His chewing of the scenery did more damage to the Senate hearing room than anything done on Jan. 6.
Out they went, like the fraternity brothers in “Animal House.” Next vote, they’ll be wearing togas and singing “Louie, Louie.”
Wait. Did I mention singing?
Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., might have done to music what Stephen Colbert did to “CBS Late Night” with his stunt last Monday.
Johnson picked up a six-string in his congressional office and began croaking about the need to release files related to Jeffrey Epstein. It’s a tune Democrats just learned … the minute Trump started urging people to move on from the subject. In a rework of Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit’s 2020 release “Dreamsicle,” Johnson put a hurtin’ on America’s ears:
“Epstein died by suicide, believe that and you must be blind. You’ve been telling us you’ll release the files, but where are they? We’ve gone along with what’s been told. You’ve had plenty of time, you’re in control. But now you say you will withhold the Epstein files.”
Johnson went on.
“Dreamsicle on a summer night in a full day room on a chair. Drums hollering at the moon, release the Epstein file soon.”
If Epstein didn’t kill himself before, he may well have after listening to that.
Still, it’s Johnson’s first smash hit since his 2010 blockbuster suggestion that the island of Guam could tip over.
The shocking thing is not that Johnson thought it was fine to play and sing in his congressional suite. Better than chasing interns around the office. It’s that he would record it, think it was a good idea to release, and his staff would say, “Go for it, Dylan!” The times they are a’ strange indeed.
And getting stranger.
Remember Tom Cruise on top of a train in the first “Mission Impossible”? Rep. Suhas Subramanyam’s, D-Va., stunt on the House subway train wasn’t nearly as dangerous, but it was infinitely more surreal. More David Lynch than Vin Diesel.
Subramanyam released a video on TikTok, jerking like he’d stepped on a third rail, as he rode one of the little subway cars that run from the House office building to the U.S. Capitol. It’s a TikTok fad called “aura farming.”
Look, Subramanyam isn’t the first to sing and dance on his way to work, looking foolish in the process. (COUGH-COUGH) But the congressman had a political goal in mind. He was dancing while dressed like a stuntman from “Men in Black,” in his words, “[On my way] to hold this administration accountable.”
A free tip: Trump didn’t sweat getting shot. Do you really think an audition for “Dirty Dancing 2” is going to do it? Nobody’s going to put Subramanyam in a corner. Or in a position of authority, after that stunt.
How far have Democrats gone out of their minds? Let’s recap:
They want to regain control of the entire government, and they can’t even control their hissy fits.
They accuse Trump of being a king, and the way to take down the evil orange king is pretending they’re B.B. King. The thrill is definitely gone from the party.
They call Trump “Hitler” and think the answer to Hitler is “aura farming.” Dang, if only the Jews had thought of that.
The Democrat Party has resorted to stunts because it has no substance. Or at least substance that is appealing to anyone beyond the liberal elite, illegal immigrants, and Hamas.
They have no authenticity, so they’re doing what they can to fake it, whether it’s taking part in TikTok fads, getting themselves arrested by attacking federal officials, or dropping F-bombs the way Jason Statham drops bad guys.
They’re not putting the American people first. They are putting on a show. As last week’s stunts demonstrate, they are, indeed, theater kids.
But unlike a stunt performer falling from a high building, the Democrats are plunging downward without an air bag or net to catch them.
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