Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Suhqwyndyllith spent many a kombucha-soaked hour pondering whether John Malkovich had a fondness for sponge bathing under the stars.
A million thanks to Sarah for filling in for me on very short notice while I dealt with a rather troublesome orthopedic issue. It is a blessing and a comfort to have brilliant colleagues and not have to worry about the Briefing during my absences, whether they’re planned or unplanned.
OK, that was an extended self-imposed news blackout for me. I didn’t even check baseball scores fora couple of days. I figured that I would tackle something that had a little positive news for my return.
Several of the gerrymandering dark clouds that have been bringing gloom to Republicans have been lifted in the last couple of weeks. There was some more good news to start the week. This from Catherine:
The U.S. Supreme Court has vacated an order unconstitutionally requiring an Alabama district to be based on racial demographics, in another redistricting win for the GOP.
The new ruling follows the recent Louisiana v. Callais decision where the Supreme Court judged that black-majority districts drawn as such constitute racial gerrymandering and are unconstitutional under the Fifteenth Amendment.
That screaming you hear is from all of the higher-ups at the Democratic National Committee as they rush for the Prilosec after seeing their race-based election tampering efforts take another hit. As we have been discussing ever since the 2024 presidential election, the Democrats don’t have anything in the way of policy or ideas to offer non-coastal voters. Their plan all along has been to lean into electoral skullduggery and hope that their rabid hatred for President Trump infects others.
The recent rays of sunshine from the courts prompted my good friend and partner in thought crime Stephen Green to assess the Republicans’ chances in the House for the midterms. If you’re a Republican who’s just looking at the polls, you’ll immediately start making bathtub gin. It’s also about 17 months until November, so we can’t rule out anything.
However, as Stephen points out, there is room for hope. As he says in his conclusion, “if Sen. Thune would stop posturing on X long enough to pass the Save Act, I’d bet next month’s car payment that the GOP holds the House.”
That, of course, is a mighty big “if” to pin the party’s hopes on. It is frightening to see the Senate Republicans dragging their feet on election integrity at this critical juncture in American history. John Thune seems to get weaker by the day. He is very much still a Mitch McConnell man.
Because it isn’t even summertime in this midterm election year, I am not panicking about anything yet. As my good friend Kurt Schlichter writes at Townhall, we should be enjoying the recent wins:
I have never understood people who say that you shouldn’t celebrate utterly defeating your opponents; that sounds like loser talk to me. And defeating our opponents is what we’ve done in the last week. We’ve used them, abused them, and generally treated them like a straight white cisgender Christian male from Dallas in the Harvard Womyn’s Studies Department. This calls for a celebration. You should be partying. You should be clinking glasses. And you should be throwing their defeats back into their ugly, scrunched faces. Raise a toast of liberal tears and beer-bong it like an SEC linebacker at a kegger.
We need to keep winning, though, and that is too often a tough ask from the GOP. President Trump continues to do all that he can to make Republican officials want to win. Also, I have written many times that conventional election rules have been very wobbly since Trump first won in 2016. Maybe he can continue rewriting scripts for the Republican Party.
Somebody needs to.
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The Mailbag of Magnificence
Let us resume communications. We will start with this from Sheryl in Georgia:
Oh yes, Firesign Theater – Put your mucklucks in the cellophane… If there’s going to be crowd sourcing for the SQNS, how do you generate the proper names of the participants? Looks like some hybrid Welsh/Saxon app but maybe not. Thank you so much for your humor and commentary! Best regards, Motivated Georgia voter Sheryl
There is no formula for any of it, although some readers have guessed at what it might be. The Welsh vibe developed on its own because I think all Welsh words look ridiculous and amusing. For the most part, however, the names just erupt from my brain every night.
Charlotte is nagging me (but in a nice way):
Hey, Kruiser-Man, I agree with Sarah. Please make the Marco Minute a part of you daily column. It is so refreshing to watch Secretary Rubio in action, and his response to Kelly Wright’s question was inspiring. IMO, a daily Marco Minute would not be a waste of time. Love the Morning Briefing! Warm regards, Charlotte
Your request has been duly noted and considered. My response follows “Everything Isn’t Awful” today. Thank you for your support.
Doug writes:
Kruiser Sarah did a great job while you were on a “Jimmy Buffet-themed wellness” (ayahuasca) retreat.
I agree, Doug. Sarah is a phenomenal MB pinch-hitter. I just hope that the next time she does it, it will be because I’m doing something fun.
Timothy L. weighs in with this:
Kruiser, Life happens and everyone occasionally needs a long weekend. I greatly appreciate all of the stand in writers that cover in your infrequent Fridays off. But it’s just not the same! Dude! We need you Monday through Friday as much as possible!
Thank you for that, Timothy. I assure you that I want to be here as much as possible. This was unplanned and unpleasant. I really thought I’d only be out for a day. As I said at the top, I am extremely grateful that Sarah kept covering for me on short notice.
We will conclude with this from Jim in San Diego:
Greetings, Sir. I hope that your time away from the MB was not anything unpleasant. I’m sure that everyone here seconds that thought. Sarah was just fine. Now, I remember the days of PJTV and Kruiser Control, where you had (I thought) an unhealthy obsession with Chris “Tingles” Matthews. Yeah. Saran confesses an obsession with Marco Rubio. OK, Sarah, just don’t start stalking. Seriously. And crowd-sourcing the SQNS? Really? OK, I’m game. The SQNS is seeking funding for a proposed Star Trek TOS spinoff, with Cyrano Jones (remember him?), having failed as a tribble-wrangler, sets out across Federation Space looking for opportunities, when he makes an unlikely alliance with an unlikely alien, in the series “The Misadventures of Cyrano Jones, or, Have Gorn, Will Travel”. What do you think? Does it have a chance?
As I told Timothy, this was not fun time off. I would like to clarify that “Kruiser Control” was all about mocking lefties in television media. Some of them like Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann provided constant material, so they got their own weekly segments (“Tingle Time” and “The Olbermannometer”). As for your first stab at the SQNS, it was a valiant effort. Keep trying. Remember, at least three major studios turned down Star Wars.
Thanks to all who have been writing in!
Everything Isn’t Awful
Legend says they’re still looking for the ball.. 😂 pic.twitter.com/KwwdWrR3Ga
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) May 10, 2026
The Marcos Minute
‘KAYO ANG ILAW NG TAHANAN AT HALIGI NG BAWAT PAMILYANG PILIPINO’
President Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr. posted a Mother’s Day greeting, featuring his mother Imelda Marcos, first lady Liza Araneta-Marcos, and his sister Irene Marcos, on Sunday.
“Ngayong Mother’s Day,… pic.twitter.com/KqzAEpDhXP
— The Philippine Star (@PhilippineStar) May 10, 2026
PJ Media
VodkaPundit. Dear Mr. President: Just Finish the Mullahs Already
Confused About Iran? Here’s What U.S. Victory Looks Like.
Rabbi Michael Barclay’s Iran War Updates for May 10 and 11
VodkaPundit, Part Deux. Um… Did the GOP Just Win the Midterms?
Seriously? House Dems to Rubio: Please Be Nicer to the Narcos and Terrorists
Supreme Court Rules Against Race-Based Alabama District
Gavin Newsom’s ‘Free’ Diaper Program Is Full of… Corruption?
Fetterman Is so Done With the Left’s Reflecting Pool Tantrum
GOP Congressman Wants to Clear Name of the World’s Most Prominent Falsely Accused Innocent Man
U.S. Corporate Profit Margins Surge to All-Time Apex
‘Me Too’ Megyn Kelly: Superstar of the NEW #MeToo Movement
On Violence, Real and Threatened
When Oppression Is the Coin of the Realm, the Chosen Are the Victims
The Sick and Twisted Political Opportunity Democrats May Be Waiting For
What Was the Theology Behind the ‘Shot Heard Round the World?’
Diminutive Dictator Zelinksy Is Now Shutting Down Churches In the Name of Democracy
Chicago’s Spring Shooting Season Arrives Right on Schedule
Our Beef Fix May Include Cattle That Speak Portuguese
Townhall Mothership
Schlichter. Last Week Was a Keg of Lib Tears and It’s Time to Party Down
This Democrat Mayor Just Came Clean About Working For Communist China
The Trump Administration Just Put the United Nations in Their Place on Mass Migration
Guess Who Just Launched Airstrikes Against Iran
The Absolute Stupidity of Connecticut’s Glock Ban
Cam&Co. Dhillon Says DOJ Not Playing ‘Smallball’ With Denver, USVI Lawsuits
Tech Community Expressing Concerns Over 3D Printer Restrictions
Danish PM Rides Her Big, Bad Greenland Election Bet Off Into the Sunset
Britain’s Two-Tier System Laid Bare
Trump: Ceasefire Now On ‘Life Support’
Scaredy cats. Iran’s Leadership May Now Be Eyeing Urgent Escape to Moscow
Trump Says TDS Is Real — but the Administration Has a Few Hilarious Cures
McClatchy News Gives in to the AI Content Ogre, but Their Reporters Will Not Surrender
Shuttering Chicago Walgreens Says It Lost $1 Million, Mostly Due to Theft
NYT’s Nicholas Kristof Spreads the Israeli Rape Dogs Smear
VIP
CCP Claims Unity Goal for Trump’s Visit, Then Threatens U.S. Over Taiwan
Codify the Number of Justices on the Supreme Court Now
Sodom and Gomorrica: Protections for Portland Polyamory
Hantavirus Isn’t a Public Risk — So No COVID 2.0, Please
Nazi Tattoo Senate Candidate Doesn’t Want Schumer as Dem Senators’ Führer
The EV Party Meets the Truck Buyer
Around the Interwebz
‘The Terminal List’ Sets Season 2 Premiere Date At Prime Video
Do you take after your dad’s RNA?
Ryan Coogler beams up a murderer’s row of guest stars for his X-Files reboot
The Kruiser Kabana
Kabana Gallery
Bridge in Viko pic.twitter.com/GqFlzBjzVL
— Nikolai Ge (@artistnikolaige) May 11, 2026
Kabana Comedy/Tunes
POTUS Press Today
Here’s the schedule for the rest of the week.
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