Rabbi Ellen S. Wolintz-Fields, WLCJ Executive Director
In this month of Adar, we are told to be happy, as stated in the saying that goes along with the month: Me She’nichas Adar, Marbim B’Simcha. When you enter the month of Adar, your happiness is to be increased. However, can one really command a feeling? We are commanded to love God, but how can that be commanded? How can we be told to be happy? Maybe one does not feel happy. And there is a good reason to not feel happy this month. We all are living through Operation Roaring Lion. Evil people are being eliminated, at the same time innocent lives are being lost and people’s homes are being damaged and destroyed. One of the most fun holidays in Israel has been curtailed with restrictions on gatherings and people being able to travel. But the Jewish people and the State of Israel are strong. We persevere and we are resilient. Nothing stops us from observing the holiday of Purim, even if we do not feel in a celebratory mood.
It was déjà vu for me that I was not in the mood to celebrate Purim. This year marked the 30th Yahrzeit of my rabbinical school classmate Matthew Eisenfeld, and his girlfriend Sara Duker, who I knew from college. On February 25, 1996, Matthew and Sara were killed in the bombing of Bus 18 on Jaffa Road in Jerusalem. On the 5th of Adar, just a few days before the holiday of Purim, our classmate and his girlfriend, almost fiancé, were killed, and my friends and I were devastated. How could we follow the saying that in Adar we should be happy when two of the brightest minds were murdered? Our Rabbis and teachers told us we had to observe Purim, and so we attended Megillah readings, although I have no recollection where I went or what I wore, or where I ate Purim Seudah. All I can remember is that none of us felt any joy.
A few days later, I packed up my stuff and returned to New York to finish my year of studies at the Jewish Theological Seminary, and did not return to Israel again until 2012, and did not ride a public bus again until 2022. The death of my friends in this bus bombing was a life changing event, and also bonded my classmates and me forever.
We were all supposed to be together this year to mark Matt and Sara’s 30th Yahrzeit with an in-person learning, after the receipt of our Honorary Doctorate. Due to the snow storm in New York, our Honorary Doctorate ceremony was canceled, and will be rescheduled for sometime in June. However, we still learned together on Zoom, led by our classmate, Rabbi Matthew Berkowitz, the President of The Schechter Institutes, Inc. Although we were all disappointed that we were not in person, in the Matthew Eisenfeld and Sara Duker Beit Midrash at JTS, and we would not be receiving our Honorary Doctorates together in person, in February, as planned, we all appreciated being together on Zoom.
As I reflect on the last few weeks, the disappointment of not receiving my Honorary Doctorate in person with my classmates, and watching the news about Operation Roaring Lion, I repeat to myself, Me She’nichas Adar, Marbim B’Simcha. In the month of Adar we should be happy. We must be like Esther—be strong, persevere, and be resilient. If we spend time worrying and being upset, disappointed, or frustrated about what we cannot control, we miss out on life, and truly living. I pray we can find happiness in every day, and live each day to the fullest.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Ellen S. Wolintz-Fields
WLCJ Executive Director
ewolintz-fields@wlcj.org
