Morty: Do I want to ask who he is?
Rick: His name is Brett Caan. He has the power to make things always have been other things.
Morty: I think that’s called retconning. But his name’s Brett Caan? I mean, Rhett’s a name, too. His name could be Rhett Caan.
Rhett Caan: It is. And always has been.
—Rick and Morty, “Full Meta Jackrick”
Ah, retconning: For years, it was the go-to solution for hacky sci-fi writers and mediocre comic book “universes.” It worked like this: The previous writer placed the hero in an unsolvable dilemma, so the new writer gets hired and just sort of pretends it never happened.
Here’s the Rick and Morty explanation, featuring the aforementioned “Rhett Caan” (NSFW):
But at least in the wacky world of comic books — a fictional universe rife with reality-bending magic, superpowers, and alternate timelines — retcons are still somewhat plausible. In a world of superheroes and supervillains, anything could happen. So, every few years, Superman/Spiderman/Batman/etc., are all rebooted and reimagined.
Sometimes the changes are popular and boost sales, becoming a permanent part of the superhero’s identity. But sometimes, they’re not — and that’s totally okay too: The next writer will simply retcon the retcon!
As Batman’s archnemesis put it:
I’m not exactly sure what happened. Sometimes I remember [the past] one way, sometimes another… If I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!
—Joker, Batman: The Killing Joke
Leave it to the Democrats to swipe a page from the frickin’ Joker: They, too, would prefer a “multiple choice” past, where their previous mistakes are all retconned.
That way, they can pretend it never happened!
No longer were they lying to the American people about Joe Biden’s senility. Nor had they rigged previous elections with rampant gerrymandering — or weaponized the justice system to wage lawfare against their political enemies. And remember that time in 2024, when the party’s Politburo hand-selected a presidential nominee whom not a single Democrat voted for in ANY of the primaries?
Forget about it! Because, in this latest liberal retcon, it’s the gosh-durn Republicans who are acting like KINGS, you see!
Even the premise of the Schumer Shutdown — that the Democrats are fighting so furiously to prevent healthcare premiums from rising — collapses under the weight of a smidgen of logic.
As Sen. Katie Britt (R-Ala.) pointed out:
Britt said it’s “absolutely totally ridiculous to sit here and say we’re afraid people cannot afford their health care, but at the same time we’re going to deny them their paycheck.”
“Those two things do not match up, and Democrats need to actually be honest about it and get the government back open,” she added.
She’s absolutely right: To “protect” Americans from unaffordable healthcare, the Dems’ “solution” is to confiscate their paychecks?
How the hell is that supposed to work?
Meanwhile, they staged their latest wave of “No Kings” protests (on Lee Harvey Oswald’s birthday!), during a government shutdown — where the minority party used its parliamentary power to close the entire federal government, since they lacked the votes to pass their legislation procedurally.
Because the president thinks he’s an all-powerful “king,” you see.
It’s an astonishing retcon of reality: The same party that lied about Joe Biden’s senility is now a fierce advocate of truth-telling and honesty. The same party that coronated Kamala Harris without ANY primary votes is now our nation’s uncompromising defenders of democracy. The same party that launched an unprecedented campaign of lawfare against their political enemies is flabbergasted when lawfare is used against it.
The same party that (still) relies on Blue State gerrymandering is now claiming that Red State gerrymandering is an “undemocratic” attempt to “steal” elections. The same party that coerced the tech giants into deplatforming conservatives is now defending free speech. The same minority party that shuttered the federal government is now accusing the majority party of acting like kings because those dastardly Republicans want ‘em to get back to work and do their freaking jobs.
And so, they’ll save us from the scourge of higher healthcare premiums… by taking away our paychecks!
When Democrats win in November, “elections have consequences.” When Republicans win in November, “democracy dies in darkness,” Trump is a dictator, and #Resistance is the only rational response.
Ain’t that a kick in the head?
Up is down, anarchy is democracy, the president is a king, and the Democrats are now the good guys. As George Orwell wrote in Nineteen Eighty-Four, “Everything faded into mist. The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became the truth.”
(Deliberately so.)
That is why the “No Kings” lie and the Schumer Shutdown are the twin pillars of the most ambitious political retcon in American history.
Most cynical, too. And it reflects another Orwellian quote, “Ignorance is strength.”
One Last Thing: The Schumer Shutdown is upon us. Rather than put the American people first, Chuck Schumer and the radical Democrats forced a government shutdown for healthcare for illegals. They own this.
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